Fated Friends, Rival Coaches Go Head-to-Head

Peddie Varsity Boys Basketball Coach Joe Rulewich (right) poses with longtime friend and rival coach Seth Eilberg (second from left) and Eilberg’s family.

They were destined to be best friends.

Joe Rulewich, Peddie varsity boys basketball coach, and Seth Eilberg, head coach of The Hill School varsity boys basketball program, reunited in January when the Falcons visited The Hill School for their yearly matchup.

Rulewich, who is two years older than Eilberg, hosted the person who would become his lifelong friend for a recruiting visit while at Haverford College.

“I liked him immediately,” Rulewich said. “Over the course of those two days, we had a moment where he was talking about his high school, and he mentioned Norfolk Academy. And I was familiar with Norfolk Academy, but nothing clicked. He mentioned he played football and that one of his former coaches was Tom York. And as soon as he said ‘Tom York,’ it immediately clicked with me, and I said, ‘I know a Tom York!’

“All of a sudden, I’m on my apartment phone, a landline. This is back in 1992. So I called my dad and asked where Tom taught, and he said Norfolk Academy. So it was the same Tom York. It was almost like we were kind of destined to be friends.”

The duo played basketball at Haverford College together for one year while Rulewich was a senior and Eilberg was a sophomore.

Later, when Rulewich was an assistant coach at Curry College and Eilberg at Tufts University, they lived in Cambridge together for two years.

It was an eventful day that Saturday, the first time the two faced each other as assistant coaches, when Tufts visited Curry. Rulewich and Eilberg decided to head to the park before the evening game to do what else but play basketball.

“So we went to the park, and there’s one court, and we wound up playing one-on-one, and we said, ‘let’s play for something,'” Rulewich explained. “We said we already had bragging rights on the game later that night, so I suggested that the loser carry the winner out on his back.

“There were little kids waiting to get on the court, watching these two guys go after it, fouling each other. It was tied at 10, and we were exhausted, just trying to finish this game. Somehow I get free of him with a little separation, and I hit a shot off the glass, and it goes in.

“He looks over at me, I look over at him, and he goes, ‘get on.’ So I jump on his back, and he gallops out of the park, and all of these little kids are questioning what was happening, and they couldn’t figure it out.”

That night, Curry College went up by 20 at halftime and held on for the win.

“We’re going through the handshake line, and we get to the coaches, and the head coach at the time, Bob Sheldon, shakes my hand and says, ‘Joe, tell me he doesn’t have to carry you out of the gym after this one,’ Rulewich said. “I said, ‘no, we’re good.'”

Eilberg has a different perspective on that day.

“If there are any stories about him beating me in one-on-one, I do want to state on the record that I can neither confirm nor deny that,” he said, tongue-in-cheek.

There are many intersections, with Rulewich going on to coach at Ursinus College, where Eilberg’s oldest son, Graham, plays basketball now. Eilberg said he feels ‘indebted’ to Joe to this day and knows that part of the ‘really special culture,’ that foundation of that special culture at Ursinus basketball, is Rulewich’s doing. Rulewich helped mutual friend Kevin Small build the program over there, and now Graham is enjoying the benefits of that kind of experience.

“Joe is such a credit to our league. The way he seems to compete and his sportsmanship and class and grace, win or lose, is something that’s always inspired me and that I’ve tried to, not always successfully, but tried to emulate,” Eilberg said. “I just really admire how he competes, and it’s not a surprise because he was an incredible competitor as a student-athlete.”

Eilberg also played a life-changing part in advancing Rulewich’s career.

When the basketball coaching position at Peddie became available during Rulewich’s sixth year at Ursinus, Eilberg was the first to call his friend to let him know it was available. He also reached out to Susan Cabot, the athletic director at the time, to introduce Rulewich.

“The interweaving of both our personal and coaching, professional lives is pretty intricate, which has been pretty special,” Rulewich said.

Rulewich and Eilberg are used to facing each other, but it’s not easy, Eilberg said.

“It’s pretty cliché in sports to say there are so many things that are bigger than the game or the score in the game,” Eilberg said. “If we play against Peddie and we win, I still feel sort of bad because I know that Joe lost a game, so I wish we didn’t play each other, to be honest, but there’s no choice being in the league. Although, I do value and know what good competition that’s going to be. That’s the other reason that I don’t look forward to playing against them, is they’re always a truly relentless team, and it’s very hard to be successful against them and do all of the things you want to do because of how well-coached they are and how hard they play.”

Rulewich said he admires the way Eilberg has built his program and continues to nurture a culture he’s created over the last 22 years.

“I hope that our program looks a little bit like his, in terms of the way which his kids carry themselves, the way his teams play, the little details that he puts into building a program that his guys are a part of,” Rulewich said. “I think his program is one of the models for a high school prep basketball program in the country. I think he does it the right way, and it’s special. And when it’s one of your friends, it’s even more special. Not only do you admire it, but you also feel good for him, that he’s built that and he’s a part of it.”

In the grand scheme of things, friendship holds dear.

“Regardless of how those games go, our friendship and that bond is certainly always going to be so much more important than the score of the game and the outcome of a basketball game,” Eilberg said. “The way I see him impact his players’ lives is always inspirational and a lesson that is important for all coaches to keep in mind about what should be our priority in what we’re doing.”

Rulewich said Eilberg is the person he texts or calls about anything basketball-related. When Rulewich’s kids ask him who he is on the phone with, he replies, “Uncle Seth.”

Peddie boys basketball fell to The Hill School 64-37 on January 7.